It's Hard to be Consistent

You know that burst of energy you feel when you have this great idea and you're all excited to make it happen and you're thinking of all the amazing things you can accomplish so you spend some time and effort in doing it only to stop when it got harder to maintain it? Yes, that's me.

Recently, it has become harder to keep up with both the websites, my studies, and my leisure time. Lots of assignments pop up here and there and I have my own responsibilities in the house to take care of.

I've been feeling down lately because of personal issues and problems I'm experiencing right now. The gist of this is it's really hard to perform well in all of my commitments simultaneously. If I focus on academics, I'll have to take my eyes off the website but if I focus on Hyrmit, I'll need to take a chunk of time dedicated to academics, which at the moment is already barely enough for me. Have you ever felt like you needed to choose from two major things? Because that's what I feel right now.

However, if you've read this far and you think that this whole blog post is an excuse letter, then you're absolutely... right! Kidding.

I reread one of my posts, "My First Day of Online Classes". One of the things that keep me going is knowing that I have made some good changes, no matter how little, over time. Reading the blog posts that I wrote before has made me aware of those little changes. There's also something comforting in the wisdom of your past self. This is what past self told me in a blog I wrote weeks ago.

I know that I will need to get my sh*t together throughout the whole year because there will be times when we feel like we won't pull through or we won't make it, so it's important to visualize the outcomes you are trying to achieve while going through these problems.

Well, past self you were definitely right about the part that there will be a time when we feel like stopping because things are getting difficult. This is exactly that time.

I also wrote another blog post (which is so important to me now) entitled "How I Got Through Grade 7 - by a JHS Survivor" and now I'm thinking, "Soon, Zai, you'll be writing a blog entitled 'How I Survived Senior High School.'"

If I was once the motivated, driven, and determined person who did everything she could to get what she wants, then I can be that person again. So can you.